It has been a long time since I was able to write in this blog.
This has been my diary blog and I miss writing my day to day experiences.
Today I cried. Not because I am weak but because I am tired. I am tired of all the people who just doesn't seem to care of what other people feel.
I have always told myself and others that you need to love and accept yourself. Whatever your size, color, shape or even status is, you got to accept it and love it in order to be happy. And yes I still believe in that. However, I cannot deny that I want to fit in. I don't want to be an outcast.
College has been a very bad part of my life. Although not all but some of the people here are mean and harsh. I don't know how to deal with them anymore. I cant comprehend why they are like that.
I miss my friends back home.. I miss my high school friends.. Friends that accepted me for who I was. They were the people that even if I looked like a homeless person with my jeans and shirt, they respected me as an individual.
I want to transfer back to Davao. But my parents have given me so much for this opportunity and I love the professors here because they are experts of their own chosen field and they are nice.
Honestly I don't know what to do anymore. I always tell myself at the end of the day that everything is gonna be ok. That I should ignore what they say. But I can't because I see it everyday. I hear it everyday. Why can't they see that I'm trying my best to fit in. to be nice.
I am just so stressed right now.. I don't care how many papers I need to write. That is so much easier than having to deal with all the hate.
I WANNA GO BACK HOME. BUT I'LL GO BACK HOME WITH A DEGREE. I WILL MAKE MY PARENTS PROUD. I WILL NOT LET YOU BRING ME DOWN.
To my parents and my family, thank you for everything. for all the sacrifices you have done just to send me to a wonderful university. To give me everything I need everyday. For believing in me that I can do it. I love you
To my college friends, (you know who you are <3), thank you because if you guys aren't there, I would have just broken down and gave up. thank you for accepting me and my craziness. I'm sorry if I didn't share this with you guys in person.
God. Thank you for everything. Please help me stay strong. Help me to keep on going. I believe that you are at my side and I trust that you would never leave me.
