im so sorry...

For the past few days.. I've been so rude to you..
i've been so insensitive.. I've been so hurtful.
But all of these are for you...
I want you to be happy now.. bcuz u deserve to be..


I only ask you one thing..
Please do what makes you happy now because
Its very hard for me to adjust while you are near to me...

I know you will be happy with her.. ^^
"I can feel it... Its like you were meant to be"
( hmmm if i said that.. i was probably lying)
I hate saying that you are compatible...
Maybe i'm just jealous because we weren't like that when we were close..

But yeah,,... i know that its the right thing .. I should let you go.. and i should do it..
It was my stupid fault of hurting you now i gotta pay the price and get hurt`..


Im so sorry if i snob you for the past few days...
I'm just trying to do my part so that you will be happy ^^


I just have only one request... BE HAPPY WITH HER >.<

i surrender Father... T_T

hmm... crying again.. stupid me!!

But then again at least now i know why people always say that pride is very dangerous...
My pride has cost a lot... My pride was the reason i suffer...
My pride is the reason why i look so stupid right now..

Im tired of being so stupid about stuff that i am good at when its about other people..
How could i give them wonderful advises and not fix mine?
I guess i was wrong in some stuff... and yeah i regret some of it.. but my pride tells me to just go on and let go.. even how hard it is.. just go... even tears overflow let go... maybe someday when i am not holding ur hand anymore... God will fill the spaces instead of you..

Its stupid how i manage to smile when im sad, to laugh when inside i am crying.. to rejoice when everybody knows im weeping..

I know i am doing the wrong thing.. but its better this way isn't it? I've always done this kind of thing for many times so its really not new to me but yeah i admit it kinda has a different and more painful impact but duh... i can handle this .. ^^

I know Father will be there for me always.. He will help me... I surrender my life to you Father...