For quite sometime now,
ive been trapped in the cage of the past
ive been locked in the room of despair and
Ive been mourning about the death of yesterday. . .
I didnt let go of the past and i let it hurt me badly
I lied and lied until now i'm broken...
every time i lie about what i feel,
it breaks me like i am a piece of stick in the great tree of life..
Ive been covering the truth with smiles and anger...
I never asked myself why?
Why do i want to protect myself by hurting myself?
and why cant i let go..?
I am honestly tired of hiding..
Hiding behind the curtains of mistakes.. pain...and depression
I hope one day you will see...
That i am stronger.. braver and happier cuz
I Live and Let GOD!
Finding my purpose is hard.. yes it is
but i am willing to move forward to see it clearly
I pledge to live with God and praise for God
I may commit mistakes but i know my Father will always be there.. just sitting there waiting for me to ask forgiveness and start an new leaf
I know it is not too late..
i know i could still find the light
I know i still could move one..
you know why?
cuz my Father told me so..
He told me that i could still change
that i could still live a life of happiness, love and hope..
I just have to
~~~~~Live and Let GOD~~~~~
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
smile =]
Aal isz well
in life there are ups and downs..
it depends on the person if he/she will take
every failure as a challenge to improve him/herself..
Maybe i have been covering the sadness i feel with fake smiles
but now i want to TRULY smile.. i want to be happy..
I want to be contented of what i have.. and so i will now wake forward
and leave the painful and sorrowful yesterday.
I WANT TO SMILE=]
Saturday, August 13, 2011
im so sorry...
For the past few days.. I've been so rude to you..
i've been so insensitive.. I've been so hurtful.
But all of these are for you...
I want you to be happy now.. bcuz u deserve to be..
I only ask you one thing..
Please do what makes you happy now because
Its very hard for me to adjust while you are near to me...
I know you will be happy with her.. ^^
"I can feel it... Its like you were meant to be"
( hmmm if i said that.. i was probably lying)
I hate saying that you are compatible...
Maybe i'm just jealous because we weren't like that when we were close..
But yeah,,... i know that its the right thing .. I should let you go.. and i should do it..
It was my stupid fault of hurting you now i gotta pay the price and get hurt`..
Im so sorry if i snob you for the past few days...
I'm just trying to do my part so that you will be happy ^^
I just have only one request... BE HAPPY WITH HER >.<
i've been so insensitive.. I've been so hurtful.
But all of these are for you...
I want you to be happy now.. bcuz u deserve to be..
I only ask you one thing..
Please do what makes you happy now because
Its very hard for me to adjust while you are near to me...
I know you will be happy with her.. ^^
"I can feel it... Its like you were meant to be"
( hmmm if i said that.. i was probably lying)
I hate saying that you are compatible...
Maybe i'm just jealous because we weren't like that when we were close..
But yeah,,... i know that its the right thing .. I should let you go.. and i should do it..
It was my stupid fault of hurting you now i gotta pay the price and get hurt`..
Im so sorry if i snob you for the past few days...
I'm just trying to do my part so that you will be happy ^^
I just have only one request... BE HAPPY WITH HER >.<
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
i surrender Father... T_T
hmm... crying again.. stupid me!!
But then again at least now i know why people always say that pride is very dangerous...
My pride has cost a lot... My pride was the reason i suffer...
My pride is the reason why i look so stupid right now..
Im tired of being so stupid about stuff that i am good at when its about other people..
How could i give them wonderful advises and not fix mine?
I guess i was wrong in some stuff... and yeah i regret some of it.. but my pride tells me to just go on and let go.. even how hard it is.. just go... even tears overflow let go... maybe someday when i am not holding ur hand anymore... God will fill the spaces instead of you..
Its stupid how i manage to smile when im sad, to laugh when inside i am crying.. to rejoice when everybody knows im weeping..
I know i am doing the wrong thing.. but its better this way isn't it? I've always done this kind of thing for many times so its really not new to me but yeah i admit it kinda has a different and more painful impact but duh... i can handle this .. ^^
I know Father will be there for me always.. He will help me... I surrender my life to you Father...
But then again at least now i know why people always say that pride is very dangerous...
My pride has cost a lot... My pride was the reason i suffer...
My pride is the reason why i look so stupid right now..
Im tired of being so stupid about stuff that i am good at when its about other people..
How could i give them wonderful advises and not fix mine?
I guess i was wrong in some stuff... and yeah i regret some of it.. but my pride tells me to just go on and let go.. even how hard it is.. just go... even tears overflow let go... maybe someday when i am not holding ur hand anymore... God will fill the spaces instead of you..
Its stupid how i manage to smile when im sad, to laugh when inside i am crying.. to rejoice when everybody knows im weeping..
I know i am doing the wrong thing.. but its better this way isn't it? I've always done this kind of thing for many times so its really not new to me but yeah i admit it kinda has a different and more painful impact but duh... i can handle this .. ^^
I know Father will be there for me always.. He will help me... I surrender my life to you Father...
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
a feeling i cant explain ( CONGRATS)
.... hmmm... well.. i dont know why..
Myabe I am just a bit jealous..
just a bit....
Maybe i shouldnt let it ruin me and make me
abandon my friends..
why should i care about them>?
Its not like i still love him, dont i>>?
hmmm.. i just dont know why i feel this way..
I always say that for him to move on will be my advantage
but what is happening now?
he is moving on but i feel so hurt and the pain is almost unbearable..
I always say to other people that i am happy of what is happening
but honestly i am not..
I feel so dumb.
Its like i am lying to myself..I smile and laugh when i hear someone say that they are getting closer than ever.. but deep inside i wish that i was her..
This is so wrong.. This is what i wanted but why does is it feel so wrong>>??
Do i want him back? NO!!!
Crazy or not i will bear with the pain.. i should.
My heart right now is like a sponge... just a little squeeze and the water inside will flow..
I feel so stupid.. why do i feel these things>?? these arent right.
:(
I just wish them all the best. I wasnt able to give him all the he wants so i wish that guia could give him everything he wants. :(
CONGRATS!! :) Wish you all the best..
hmm i am so stupid.. haha its like someone would actually read this., haha
but anyway.. take care of him ok>>??
^^ God bless and Good luck to you both..^^
Myabe I am just a bit jealous..
just a bit....
Maybe i shouldnt let it ruin me and make me
abandon my friends..
why should i care about them>?
Its not like i still love him, dont i>>?
hmmm.. i just dont know why i feel this way..
I always say that for him to move on will be my advantage
but what is happening now?
he is moving on but i feel so hurt and the pain is almost unbearable..
I always say to other people that i am happy of what is happening
but honestly i am not..
I feel so dumb.
Its like i am lying to myself..I smile and laugh when i hear someone say that they are getting closer than ever.. but deep inside i wish that i was her..
This is so wrong.. This is what i wanted but why does is it feel so wrong>>??
Do i want him back? NO!!!
Crazy or not i will bear with the pain.. i should.
My heart right now is like a sponge... just a little squeeze and the water inside will flow..
I feel so stupid.. why do i feel these things>?? these arent right.
:(
I just wish them all the best. I wasnt able to give him all the he wants so i wish that guia could give him everything he wants. :(
CONGRATS!! :) Wish you all the best..
hmm i am so stupid.. haha its like someone would actually read this., haha
but anyway.. take care of him ok>>??
^^ God bless and Good luck to you both..^^
Monday, April 25, 2011
prize live!!!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
God.. my father.. my brother my best friend...
In times when i was down.. in times when i got hurt.. HE was always there... looking at me and telling me its gonna be okay...
Sometimes i don't listen to HIM.. because i sometimes put my brain first rather than my faith and feelings..
This is my mistake.. and i want to change it.. I am really thankful for HIM for the love and care HE has given me.. HE is my savior ... my friend.. my father..
I know that HE will never leave me alone... HE will always be there and HE will always love me... I know that those painful times were just obstacles that i need to overcome to be more closer to HIM.. I want to thank HIM for giving me a wonderful family.. A family that loves me and understands me for whatever i do...
I've been through a lot and HE helped me to be strong and now here i am .. ready to face the challenges of life...
YOU!! do u believe in HIM??? Do u think that HE is with you all the time... If you ask me.. i'd totally say "ES HE is always by our side.. and he will never ever leave us alone... even until the end of time.. ^^
Always keep HIM in your heart.. Always... God bless u sisters and brothers...
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